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Pizza giant works to undermine "cattle flatulence test".

We have just discovered that Pizza giant, Pizza digogo DiVinci, is working to undermine the ICPM standards for the coveted “ES” designation for “green pizzas.”  This is going on at the same time the pizza conglomerate is attempting to meet the ICPM world standard for reduced cattle flatulence for their cheese producing diary herds.

 

Confidential internal memos reveal that certain executives of the pizza giant believe the cattle flatulence criteria is unfair and should not be part of the “green pizza standard.”  An ICPM representative had no comment at this time, but their position is well known. ICPM has stated unequivocally the large amount of cheese used in pizzas throughout the world has become a significant factor in the release of excessive methane and ammonia into the atmosphere from diary herds.

 

How this apparent duplicitous behavior by the pizza giant will affect their reputation needs to be seen.  Also, this certainly will cause more strain between the monastery and pizza giant staff and could eventually affect the quality control procedures currently being practiced.  More as it develops.

Franco grows uneasy with Pizza giant merger

A growing concern at the monastery is the complete obsession with pizza making that permeates all of their daily routines.  Since the merger with Pizza digogo, emphasis on pizza production has taken precedence over all other activities.  Most affected are the spiritual traditions that shaped the core of the monk’s daily lives. 

 

Franco, while finally agreeing to the partnership, was growing more skeptical with each passing day. He was most concerned with the relationship between Brother Veronica and Giorgio, the resident pizza rep.  While he understood the need for Brother Veronica to spend the necessary time to make the merger work, the development of Pizza digogo’s concentration on producing the first “green pizza” was causing him real concern.  The ‘green “pizza was now an obsession with everyone and he could see a dramatic shift in the spiritual atmosphere of the monastery.

 

Other issues were also on his mind.  Not the least was the growing competition among the monks for jobs in pizza production.  It seems the publicity and notoriety that came with their afflilation with the pizza conglomerate brought with it issues from the outside world that Franco thought were left behind when he joined the order. He had much to think about, and he could not shake the uneasy feeling that all was not right.

 

Pizza digogo will attempt to control methane and ammonia in diary herds

Pizza digogo Divinci again reassured the pizza world that they are serious about producing the first ‘green pizza”.  A conglomerate representative made it clear that they are well aware of the difficulty in undertaking this dramatic shift in pizza making.  “Since we own our dairy herds that allow us to make our unique specialty cheeses, we are in a better position to control cattle flatulence”.

 

Their first endeavor will be to produce flatulence and manure that contains one half of the current ammonia and methane currently being produced.  Unknown at this time is if this will satisfy the International Conference of Pizza Monks (ICPM) strict standard regarding diary cattle pollution.  A representative of ICPM will be meeting with the monastery staff to work out the testing details.

 

Few facts are known at this time but it is believed the pizza giant will begin experimenting with new feed and a specially designed cattle diaper to trap the ammonia and methane.  Pizza digogo Divinci is obviously very serious about obtaining the first coveted “ES” designation for their entire pizza line.  More later as the story develops.

 

Pizza giant, Pizza digogo Divinci pledges to produce first "green pizza".

After consultation with Brother Veronica, Giovanni, and Franco, Pizza giant, Pizza digogo, will seek the coveted and rare “ES” designation for all of its pizza products.

 

The “ES” (environmentally sound) designation can only be conferred by the “International Conference of Pizza Monks” and it has yet to give this prize to any pizza maker worldwide.  The criteria for this award are to produce a completely organic, carbon friendly, health food pizza.  To this day no pizza has been able to meet this standard.

 

Since quality cheese is essential to the great pizza, the one obstacle that no pizza maker has been able to overcome is the reduced emission test that all diary cows must pass. Every company that has applied for this award has failed because of the excessive flatulence of it diary herd.  Many believe this hurdle too insurmountable and for Pizza digogo to take on this challenge at this time is surprising since their reputation could suffer if they fail to meet the “ES” standard.

 

Fully aware of the challenge, the pizza giant is determined to produce the first completely carbon friendly “green pizza”.  The merger with the monastery has given the pizza conglomerate new vigor in attempting to meet a new world standard for pizzas.   More later.

Pizza digogo to concentrate on research and development

Pizza digogo Divinci announced today that it will postpone the construction of its major pizza factory on the monastery property and concentrate on developing a major research and development division instead.

 

 Giorgio DiAugustino, pizza exec in residence, convinced the giant pizza conglomerate that this is the fastest way to develop the new pizza miracle line, as well as explore new pizza formulas for the emerging global pizza market.  A news conference will be held tomorrow morning with more details on this exciting new development.   More later.

Finally, resolution of all issues at the monastery

After hours of heated debate resolution between the monks and Pizza giant, Pizza digogo, is finally coming to the monastery.  Led by Brother Veronica, the participants Giovanni and Franco for the monks and pizza in house rep, Giorgio DiAugustino for the conglomerate, came to the following agreement:

 

First, Pizza digogo will assume financial control of the monastery and will be in charge of all bakery operations.  The pizza giant will have complete ownership of all products and recipes previously produced by the monks, as well as all new recipes created as a result of the merger.  (All the miracle pizza recipes are included as part of this agreement)

 

Second, all participants agreed to the new health plan and the monks pledged to end all opposition to the plan’s implementation.  As stated previously the plan is divided into two parts.  First, all illness costing no more than $2000 will be treated by conventional medical practice. 

 

The second provision, which created all the controversy, is the inclusion of the faith healing option which takes effect when any treatment exceeds the $2000 dollar limit.  When this occurs the patient is transferred to the faith healing clinic at the monastery for further treatment.  Any physician desiring to be designated as Faith Healers, (FH) will be grandfathered into the program.  Pizza digogo, while agreeing the plan to be revolutionary in scope, believes this approach could help solve the financial problems of all health plans worldwide.

 

The point that ended opposition to the plan came when Pizza digogo agreed that all matters of faith will be the monastery’s responsibility.  This ended the controversy that Franco was most concerned with and was consistent with the monastery’s doctrine of separation of “Faith and Pizza”.    More as it develops.

Giovanni speculates on the monastery crisis

Giovanni came to the monastery several years ago with the notion that living the meditative life would bring some solace to his life.  Little did he know just the opposite would happen.  The turmoil that racked the monastery the last several months had created a crisis in faith for him and his fellow monks.

 

Now that the acquisition of the monastery by the pizza conglomerate had been finalized, the monks would have to deal with the tensions created by the inherent conflict between a for profit corporation and the spiritual direction of the order.  The separation of faith and pizza issues seemed to infiltrate every part of their everyday life.

 

The new, resident pizza exec, Giorgio, was pleasant enough, but he seemed alien to the monks and his demeanor was not monk like in any way.  Part of Giovanni’s frustration came from the knowledge that the pizza giant now had inordinate power over the day to day affairs of the monastery.  They were all locked in the emotional trap of convention since no monastery had ever been owned by an international conglomerate. 

 

To this point, Giovanni was proud of their simple bakery and kitchen and found his solace in the mindless, but meditative, chores that he completed by rote each day. It was here he befriended Franco, and even though they had many philosophical differences between them, their mutual respect for each other was evident.

 

However, that mutual respect was now taxed to the breaking point since the health care crisis brought the monastery to the brink of bankruptcy.  Giovanni believed in accommodation.  He saw no way out of the crisis and the “miracle pizzas” created by Brother Veronica seemed like an act of providence that could save the monastery.

 

Franco was the purest.  He adamantly opposed the health care plan offered by Pizza Digogo and refused to accept the faith healing provision for catastrophic illness.  The fact that the plan was now legal and binding did not temper Franco’s opposition or anger.

 

The pleasant surprise was Brother Veronica.  Her (his) surprising rise from kitchen staff to headmaster was unprecedented.  Suddenly having a woman that they now had to accept as a fellow monk, as well as headmaster, was mind boggling to say the least.  To everyone’s surprise she overcame many of the monk’s original objections with her (his) charm, discipline and obvious commitment to the survival of the monastery.

 

The pending meeting with Brother Veronica, Giorgio, Franco and himself would be interesting.  Just maybe some of these issues might be resolved.

Giorgio Z. DiAugustino's first days

Giorgio DiAugustino finally settled down after a whirlwind of activity that dominated his first few days at the monastery.  Secretly, he was not sure how he would adjust to everyday life in his new environment.  He was used to traveling the capitals of Europe and living a lifestyle suited for a man with his reputation as one of the world's most renowned pizza makers. This new lifestyle, however, was very deceptive.

 

On the surface, the everyday monotonous repetition of monastery life seemed stifling. That illusion was soon shattered as he began to realize the intensity of the constant political manipulations that seemed to be part of each monk’s everyday life. 

 

The power fight that raged for weeks over the health care plan seemed resolved; however it was clear that many of the monks were still displeased with the faith healing provision for catastrophic illness and their passive-aggressive agitation against the plan threatened its successful implementation. He knew he would have to make allies of Giovanni and Franco to have any chance of success.

 

The issue that concerned him the most was the bakery. Granted the miracle pizzas created a stir in the pizza world, however, he was shocked at the deplorable condition of the bakery. The equipment was primitive and the staff poorly trained in sophisticated bakery techniques. 

 

Their level of expertise was so bad it tore at the fabric of his confidence. How was he going to meet the high hopes created by his company's major coup in the pizza world with the acquisition of the miracle pizza recipes? Much was expected of him and at the moment he was not sure he could deliver.

 

Actually, at first, he thought it was madness to try and produce the pizzas at the monastery, but the company wanted the initial baking to take place on location to maximize the excellent public relations and product identification that would create. He agreed at the time, but now wasn’t sure it was possible. 

 

It was obvious he had to create a new plan to accomplish the company’s goals and still have  the pizza production take place at  monastery.  The issue would be his top priority at his meeting with Brother Veronica in the morning. He knew he would have little sleep tonight. More later.

New monastery pizza chief named

Pizza giant, Pizza digogo Divinci announced today the appointment of Giorgio DiAugustino to head bakery operations at the monastery.  Mr. DiAugustino has twenty years experience in pizza research and development and will bring to monastery baking operations a wealth of experience in product management.

 

Considered a child prodigy pizza maker in his youth, Mr. DiAugustino came to the attention of Pizza digogo Divinci in his early twenties as the inventor of new and sweeter pizza dough that attracted connoisseurs world wide.  Soon after he was in charge of all pizza research and development for the giant conglomerate and continues to add to his international  reputation as a renowned pizza maker.

 

Mr. DiAugustino is looking forward to the challenges of his new assignment.  Since the Pizza giant invested a great deal of money in assuming all financial obligations of the monastery, they will have final say in all baking procedures.  This may cause some friction with the monks since they have had a laissez faire baking policy for years. Many monks feel the informal atmosphere of the bakery was responsible for the miracle pizzas creation.  (see July 21, 2009 post)

 

Mr. DiAugustino sees no conflict here.  “As long as we are all dedicated to the art of pizza making we should have no problem.  We are all focused on making the world’s best pizzas as our only goal.  That should be enough” said the new pizza chief.  The monks are not so sure.   More later.

Agreement reached between Pizza giant and Monastery

Brother Veronica and Pizza digogo divinci announced today that an agreement has been finalized between the two institutions.  Pizza digogo will assume full responsibility for all present and future financial obligations of the monastery thus removing the lingering specter of pending bankruptcy.

 

For its financial assistance the Pizza conglomerate will own all present and future recipes produced by the monks.  The agreement includes the contested “miracle pizza” recipes produced by then Brother Veronica while she was part of the kitchen staff.  The Pizza giant will assume control of all kitchen operations and will assign a permanent member of its executive staff to full time residency at the monastery.

 

The major issue of contention was the monastery’s health plan and its staggering unsustainable costs.  The new health plan contains both medical assistance for routine care and a faith healing provision for catastrophic illness. Vegetarianism will continue to be implemented as part of a new lifestyle. Many believe this revolutionary agreement will be a model for future health care.

 

The discontent expressed by many of the monks has been resolved with the appointment of a committee to decide on all issues regarding separation of faith and kitchen. The battle cry of “faith or Pizza” raised by Franco has been settled.

 

This monastery’s agreement with the Pizza giant is historical in its implication.  It is the first openly joint ownership between a religious institution and a giant business conglomerate.  Can it work?  Time will tell.  The pizza giant will announce this week its permanent appointment to oversee kitchen operations.  The success of that appointment will dictate the future of this strange and interesting relationship.

 

This agreement is considered a major coup for the Pizza giant and will strengthen its position in the growing global pizza market.