In a surprise announcement, the Pizzaonian Monasteries along with Pizza conglomerate, Pizza digogo DiVinci, said today that Brother Franco and Brother Giovanni will resign as active monks in the Pizzaonian order. This caught most Pizzaonians off guard since both brothers are considered stalwarts in the leadership of this beta-world country.
Brother Giovanni, as Supreme Pizzaonian, was instrumental in solving the health-care crisis with his revolutionary single pay, health plan that made faith healing the corner stone of our national health insurance.
In addition, as Supreme Pizzaonian he appointed the first woman submarine commander in Pizzaonia, even though Pizzaonia has neither a submarine nor a navy. He was always looking for ways to bring new and uplifting elements to Pizzaonian culture.
The one action that most Pizzaonians will always remember Brother Giovanni for was his aggressive leadership to end the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy for woman monks. Our current Supreme Pizzaonian, Sister Veronica, was a direct benefactor of that change in policy. When Sister Veronica first became a Pizzaonian monk, she was known as Brother Veronica.
After resigning his position as Supreme Pizzaonian, Brother Giovanni became the first bureau chief in Worldonia* for the growing Pizzaonian News Network. (PNN)
His editorials were very popular in Pizzaonia; however, after he began his Conversations with Jesus column, a man who Brother Giovanni said he met in the park, he lost favor with Pizza conglomerate, Pizza digogo DiVinci, and eventually resigned his position to become a roving PNN commentator on Worldonian affairs.
Brother Franco, as head of all Pizzaonian monasteries is credited with bringing rigorous intellectual standards to the monasteries. Because of his leadership, Pizzaonia is the standard for all monastery education programs.
In addition to his intellectual leadership, Brother Franco is the father of the professional sports leagues that are now active throughout all of Pizzaonia. Pizzaonian professional football is considered the model for all professional football leagues.
The major accomplishment of Brother Franco’s leadership was his determination to negotiate a fair agreement in the merger negations between Pizza conglomerate, Pizza digogo DiVinci and the monasteries. He is credited for bringing into being the alliance that is now known as the Faith and Pizza Collation. The merger is very successful and is why Pizzaonia is known for its renowned foreign policy of Pizza Imperialism.
Supreme Pizzaonian, Sister Veronica, said, “Brother Giovanni and Brother Franco will always be beloved Pizzaonian monks, respected by all Pizzaonians. I will never forget how the three of us started out together as novice monks working in the kitchens of the monasteries. I was privileged to develop a friendship and camaraderie with them that I will treasure the rest of my life.
Furthermore, it is important to note that Brother Giovanni and Franco are portalized Pizzaonians, the first non-natives to become major leaders of Pizzaonia. We will miss their daily presence, but they will always be close by in our hearts.”
Released by PNN from Pizzaonia, March 2, 2012
*Worldonia – United States of America
