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Nothing shouts the triumph of man over nature more than our celebrating of technology.

We seek the path of least resistance until we realize that path leads to oblivion. 

So much of life is driven by the instinctive need for comfort.  It is our human nature to seek safety and comfort.  Unfortunately, we may find it necessary to leave our comfort to seek safety, and that is very hard to do since comfort always masks itself as safety. 

Nothing shouts the triumph of man over nature more than our celebrating of technology.  There was a time when we celebrated in awe, and often in terror, the natural wonders of nature.  Now, when nature and technology share the same place, technology wears the crown. 

In the days of sailing ships, we cooperated with nature to function.  Now we celebrate the behemoths that sail the seas with their complete self-containment to survive on their own.  Humans simply have to pull the right levers or hit the right switch.  You can find similar examples everywhere you look. 

Do not construe this as a tirade against technology - it is not.  Technology is making the world a better place.  The problem is our human need for excess.  We cannot seem to help ourselves. 

That is why we need reminders – a Mount St. Helena, a tidal wave that we cannot stop or control, or a river that runs wild.  And the greatest irony of them all, and perhaps the most disastrous, a human being that can defeat technology by stupidity. 

The question is, do we learn - probably not.  We have been given everything except the ability to control our arrogance.

Brother Giovanni, musing from Pizzaonia on the passing American scene.

In defense of Barry Bonds - Pizzaonian News Service - Worldonia

  
When you listen to sports talk and read the various sports columns, you soon feel the undercurrent of hostility that exists between the athletes and the reporters. 

Sports commentators seem to have a well-masked resentment against professional athletes.  Perhaps most sports reporters are envious athletes at heart who just did not make the grade.  It’s subtle, but it is there. 

Why else would sports reporters turn so quickly against the players when they do not play up to expectations.  And, they do turn quickly.  With the exceptions of politicians, is there any group who goes from greatness to misfits faster than high paid professional athletes?  (Maybe managers of baseball teams.) 

And, if they are very high paid athletes, watch out, the harangues are without end. 

Included in the things that send a reporter for the verbal scalpel is anything that violates their concept of the “the good guy, or the club house buddy.” 

Barry Bonds figured this out a long time ago and his integrity never allowed him to play the game of trying to please.  It should be said; however, he was so talented he did not have to play the game other than on the field.  And to his credit, did anyone play the game better? 

Some might say his alleged use of steroids contradicts the above statement, but steroids were as common to baseball players as was batting practice – and everyone from the top down knew it. 

Therefore, when Bonds was accused of alleged steroid use, why did anyone expect him to act any differently?  He was true to his course here, as he has been in everything else in his baseball career. 

As for Barry Bonds the baseball player, Wow!  I had the pleasure of watching Bonds play before and after the so-called steroid era.  He was great in either venue.  In my experience, you are hard pressed to find any other player who dominated the game so completely.

Barry Bonds, despite the storm swirling around him, has been true to himself from the start.  He saw the hypocrisy around him and stared it down. 

I wish him well. 

  

Brother Giovanni, for Pizzaonian News Service, Worldonia. PNS

PNS NEWS SERVICE: WHY I DON’T RIDE A BICYCLE!

 

 
WHY I DON’T RIDE A BICYCLE!

There is something about devoted bicycle riders that’s different.  I am sure all of you non-riders know what I am talking about.  Some would call it an attitude, what ever it is, it’s there.  

Recently, I thought it might be fun to at least pretend I was one of them, so I reconsidered seriously riding my bike again. 

Unfortunately, it didn’t take long to bring about my issues with a bicycle.  First, it’s that damn seat.  I don’t know about the rest of you, but I find the seat very intimidating.  

At first I thought this could be easily overcome.  I bought a larger (much broader – the reason is obvious to you older folks) seat.  But still that didn’t quite do it.  I needed some kind of small arm rest for when I stopped. This is certainly not necessary, but it increases the comfort zone considerably. 

Unfortunately, this is not very efficient.  It also makes the balancing act bicycles require more difficult.  Even so, while not very cool, and it does get strange looks from the aficionados, I could live with it. 

But then I came to the one issue I could not live with.  It’s that costume.  Bicycle riders look to me like some type of tooth fairy from an alien world.  The idea of stuffing my body into a multi-colored spandex wrap is more than I can deal with. 

So my bicycle is back in the corner of the garage where it has been for years.  The time will come when I might reconsider riding it, but for now my eye just caught my old golf clubs - maybe I will think about getting back on the course again.

  

Submitted by Brother Giovanni, Worldonian Bureau Chief, Pizzaonian News Service, PNS portalized 1:10 PM to Worldonia April 21, 2011

This year the opening of spring training was treated like a minor version of the World Series!

 
If there is one thing you cannot help but notice in our so-called throw away culture is that we don’t throw as much away anymore, particularly when you can sell to someone what we used to throw away. You notice this with food, sports and entertainment. 

I was in the store the other day and I bought what I thought was a bag of pretzels.  But when I got home and opened the package, I noticed I had bought a bag of pretzel pieces.  

It wasn’t too long ago that when pretzels were being made the broken pieces were thrown away.  Now they are packaged in bright special packages and sold as a specialty product.  Nice work if you can get it. 

The more I got thinking about this, the coming baseball season came to mind. When I was kid spring training was where out of shape baseball players came to get ready for the season.  It was pretty casual, at least in the beginning, and for most people that showed up to watch, it was free, or almost so. 

This year the opening of spring training was treated like a minor version of the World Series. Players who did not perform well immediately were berated by the press and fans for being less than perfect. 

 
I can remember when some of the great pitchers in the game had trouble finding the plate, much less throwing strikes, when they first showed up for spring training, and no one was surprised.  It begs the question: What changed? 

What changed was baseball discovered it could make spring training an event and charge substantially for it.* Also, it became a bonanza for the tourist business in the areas that the teams trained.  

For baseball to pull this off, you need to charge big bucks and you need to have a better than average product to sell.  And that’s what spring training has become. In sports and entertainment today, casual practice properly packaged, is a saleable product. 

It would not surprise me if there are many plaguing injuries to ball players this year.  If there is, part of the reason is because they did not have the luxury of getting ready for the season.  Instead, like the bag of broken pretzels in shiny packages, they had to perform to unrealistic early expectations.  Play Ball! 

Brother Giovanni, PNS Bureau Chief, Pizzaonian News Service

* Professional football was way ahead, as usual, on this one.

 

There is no greater sucker in the United States than the major league baseball fan.

 
Now that the new baseball season is about to begin, I am going to again post our tribute to "American baseball."

 

There is no greater sucker in the United States than the major league baseball fan.

 

Consider the facts.  The game is played by mercenaries whose loyalty is bought by millions of dollars in salaries.  There are very few players, no matter how beloved by the fans, who wouldn’t move on to another team that pays more.

 

And yes, that same beloved player will be telling the fans of the new team he is now playing for how all of his life his unspoken dream was to be playing for them

 

Add to this major league stadiums that are built often at the cost of millions of taxpayer’s dollars. (No matter how carefully this fact may be disguised.) And you begin to get the idea.

 Now let’s consider the fan.  The average fan is a working stiff busting you know what to make ends meet.  His beloved team rewards him by outrageous ticket prices, charges usury rates for parking and than gives him the royal shaft by charging him for junk food and beer at prices, that if anywhere else, the vendor would be laughed out of business.  And all of this to maintain the ludicrous payout that everyone but the fan is enjoying. 

 

So the travesty continues.  The fan who takes his family to enjoy a game pays a couple of hundred dollars, or more, to root for a team that he loves but cannot afford, and yet the same fan willing allows this outrage to continue.

So Barnum was obviously wrong.  There isn’t a sucker born every minute.  For this outrage to continue there has to be a couple of hundred suckers born every minute.  

As for me, give me a cool beer that I just bought at my local supermarket and a soft chair in front of my television set. PLAY BALL!

 

Brother Giovanni, Worldonian Bureau Chief, Pizzaonian News Service

  

The biggest circus of the them all – the World Series!

 
If one thing jumps out at you today it is the desperate need we have for community.  By community I mean the need to belong, the need to be part of something bigger than you. Nothing brings this to light faster than living in an area where one of your major sports teams competes for the brass ring. 

Suddenly people are vying for the honor of being the most loyal fan.  It reaches comical proportions when you hear stories from so-called fans who braved storms and near death experiences to prove their superior loyalty to the “team.” 

Not lost in all of this are those whose business it is to capitalize on this phenomenon and cash in big time while the big time is in their tent. So they throw gasoline on the roaring, marketing flames creating even more of frenzy than already exists naturally. 

Alienation has been part of our culture since the industrial revolution.  Our new virtual world created by our digital technology has made the gap even wider. Sure we have lots of interaction with our social media web sites, but we have very little of the raw emotion that real community creates when everyone emotionally experiences they belong to one large family.  This is the good and bad of major league sports. 

The good is the community it seems to create.  We all know it is not real community because most of the people will fade back into the reality of their regular lives soon enough – but for a short while they will belong, and they will rejoice and suffer together as a family in what they perceive as a significant event. 

The bad is the exploitation that it creates.  People who struggle economically will ante up big bucks to be part of the parade.  They will for a short while hobnob with those who can afford to be there and they will share the short-lived, magical moment.  But it is short-lived and reality in today’s world will make itself felt. 

There was a time when a team belonged to its fans. It was a simpler world we cannot return to, but for now let’s enjoy the spectacle for what it is and not make it into the second coming.  By doing so we will all be better off when it’s over.

 Brother Giovanni

Winning makes heroes of all, at least until the next game.

 
Nothing epitomizes the “winner take all” spirit of the United States like professional sports.  As the baseball season winds down, and the seemingly never ending playoffs begin, the heroes line up to take their bows and the goats brace for the long winter of second guessing on what might have been. 

Ironically, the heroes at the end were often the goats during the long season.  Fans and the 24/7 sports news cycle make all who play or work in professional baseball fair game for the fans. 

And as all those who play the game know, you’re only as good as your last game, no matter what you have done before. 

They say this type of up and down praise and scorn heaped on the players and managers is good for the psyche and brings a sense of community to a city.  The ability to have a serious love/hate relationship with your team unties those who are loving and hating in the spirit of togetherness. 

Maybe so, but it would be nice, just once, to hear players talk about this honestly. 

That is not likely to happen since this type of honesty would bring the ire of the fans down on anyone who attempts it.  Each player knows the name of the game is winning and, even though you may have the fans affection for the moment, one bad play or decision at a crucial time can change everything. 

So for the moment, the division winners are singing cum bi ya arm and arm with their fans, and this will last at least until the first playoff game is over.  Then the fans will realign the order of goats and heroes according to how well their local heroes performed – and the cycle begins again.

Maybe the reason baseball players are paid so much is more about putting up with the love/hate relationship with the fans than it is about playing baseball.  I would think many players and managers must feel this way some of the time – the time when they are goats instead of heroes.  Play ball!

 

 

OPEN PORTALIZATION FOR ALL WORLDONIAN IMMIGRANTS TO PIZZAONIA

Storm clouds over Worldonia

 

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

FROM:  PIZZAONIAN NEWS SERVICE (PNS)

Contact:  Publicio Relationio at the PNS office of Public Relations at   PIZZAONIAN@YAHOO.COM

 

SUBJECT:  PORTALIZATION OF WORLDONIAN IMMIGRANTS TO PIZZAONIA

 

In a surprise announcement the Pizzaonian Office of Portalization said they were removing all restrictions to portalizing to Pizzaonia.

 

Youri Welcomi. Pizzaonian minister of Portalization, said the recent events in Worldonia prompted the decision to open the portal between the two worlds.

 

Recent dysfunctional events in Worldonia, such as having all major sports playing at the same time, has created increased stress in the average Worldonian’s lifestyle.  Add that to the 100 or more repetitive and dull broadcast television channels available to the average Worldonian household and you have the formula for complete emotional exhaustion.

 

Mr. Welcomi said the general consensus was this emotional stress explains the recent bizarre behavior of Worldonian politicians and the leaders of Worldonian financial markets.  “The overwhelming majority of Pizzaonians want us to reach out and offer help to our suffering cousins.”

 

The Pizzaonian Council for Greater Empathy met in an emergency meeting and concluded they had to reach out to their Worldonian cousins and offer them the bliss of a Pizzaonian life.

 

The one criterion for Worldonian portalization is the pervasive feeling that your life feels like you are in a Woody Allen movie.  The moment you are aware of this feeling you can expect an invitation to come to Pizzaonia.

 

All others also may apply for portalization.  They will be received with well-known Pizzaonian hospitality.

Pizzaonian spiritual, business and marketing powers all transferred to Supreme Pizzaonian

Painting by Pizzaonian Painter, Fernando Cyano (copied from a photograph)

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

FROM:  MONASTERY PUBLIC RELATIONS OFFICE

Contact:  Publicio Relationio at the Monastery office of Public Relations at   http://GIOVANNIANDFRANCO.COM

 

SUBJECT: Pizzaonian spiritual, business and marketing powers all transferred to Supreme Pizzaonian

 

In an unprecedented move all powers of the Pizzaonian Order have been given unconditionally to Supreme Pizzaonian, Brother Giovanni. In a unanimous vote, the International Conference of Pizza Monks gave all powers, spiritual and temporal, to their newly elected leader.

 

Since in the beta-world religious orders make no attempt to disguise they are also thriving business entities, Brother Giovanni’s new powers include the direction of all business and marketing decisions regarding the prospering Miracle Pizza Products, as well as all related issues.

 

The two priorities facing Brother Giovanni now are solidifying the growing and very profitable partnership with pizza conglomerate, Pizza digogo DiVinci, and his direction of the emerging, new ecumenical spirituality that is at the heart of the revitalization efforts of the Pizzaonian movement.

 

Other issues that will need Brother Giovanni’s attention are the need for fan free agency in the Pizzaonian Football League and his continuing efforts to make sure the removal of the “don’t ask, don’t tell, policy regarding women monks is accepted by all the Pizzaonian monasteries.

 

Since the Pizzaonian movement no longer represents a single spiritual or religious tradition, the new look of the Pizzaonian movement is to embrace all traditions and faiths. This new openness is at the heart of the increased applications from men and women hoping to become novice Pizzaonians.

 

So far Brother Giovanni continues to have wide support from the rank and file monks, and at this point his immigrant, portalized background allows him to be open to all possibilities. 

 

More as it develops ……

Pizza digogo pledges support for Supreme Pizzaonian, Brother Giovanni

Pizzaonian faith sky as seen from Monastery Chapel

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

FROM:  MONASTERY PUBLIC RELATIONS OFFICE

Contact:  Publicio Relationio at the Monastery office of Public Relations at   http://GIOVANNIANDFRANCO.COM

 

SUBJECT: Pizza digogo pledges support for Supreme Pizzaonian, Brother Giovanni

 

Today Giorgio DiAugustino, resident monastery manager for pizza conglomerate, Pizza digogo DiVinci, pledged their support for the new Supreme Pizzaonian, Brother Giovanni.

 

“We could not be more pleased.  Brother Giovanni has demonstrated his visionary leadership for the Pizzaonian movement and his support of “faith and Pizza” as a new spiritual direction is unequivocal.  Not only is he good for Pizzaonian Monks, he is also good for business”, said Mr. DiAugustino

 

Brother Giovanni’s quick response to such issues as free agency for fans, his opposition to “don’t ask, don’t tell” for women monks, and his strong support of Brother Franco’s  new education requirements for novice monks to include three additional years of training at the Pizza digogo Bakery Academy, has gained him much support from the rank and file as well.

 

Sometime soon, we expect to hear about the pending appointment of Brother Franco as the new monastery headmaster.   When that happens, it will complete this rags to riches story of two portalized monks who began their religious journey as kitchen helpers.