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Pizza digogo diVinci Bakery Academy Cadets 34 - Pizzaonian Cougars 30

Heavenly bluff looking down on Pizzaonian Stadium, site of first Flatbread Pizza Bowl

 

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

FROM:  MONASTERY PUBLIC RELATIONS OFFICE

Contact:  Publicio Relationio at the Monastery office of Public Relations at   http://GIOVANNIANDFRANCO.COM

 

SUBJECT:  Flatbread Pizza Bowl - Pizzaonian football miracle denied

 

In a surprisingly close contest the Pizza digogo diVinci Bakery Cadets beat the Pizzaonian Cougars 34 – 30 in the first ever Flatbread Pizza Bowl, scoring the winning touchdown with 15 seconds left on the clock.  The Cadets brought a 14 and 0 record along with a devastating ground attack into the game.  Odds makers touted the game at 30 to 1, giving the cougars nothing to hope for but a miracle.

 

And that’s what they almost had.  The Cougars attacking with a west coast offense surprised the spirited but slower Cadet defense with a short passing game that consistently gained 5 to 7 yards per play.  Cougar coach, Lomvinci Bardi, brought a disciplined and mentally tough team into the game.

 

Third year Cougar quarterback, Mozarelli, hit his receivers, Tomasi and Basili, coming out of the backfield time and time again, piling up a series of first downs that resulted in three field goals and three touchdowns.  Leading at halftime, 16 to 14, everyone smelled upset in the making.

 

But the upset was not to be, as the vaunted Cadets made the mental adjustments necessary in the second half to win the contest with a game winning, come from behind, 12 play grind it out running attack that scored the winning touchdown in the final seconds.

 

“I knew our offense would gain yards, what we needed to find out was did we have the heart to go toe to toe against then?  We showed the beta-world that we did.  We didn’t win but we proved tonight that we have a big time program here at the monastery” Bardi said with great emotion.

First Flatbread Bowl at Mozzarella Arena

Waters feed monastery cistern

 

Dear John,

 

We are enjoying the last days of our Christmas Holiday, but you can feel the momentum building as we near the start of our new year.  This will be a big year for us.  Our partnership with Pizza digogo continues to grow stronger, and the familiarization of your world as part of our life is becoming more comfortable for most of our monks.

 

We have one major event to go before we go back to work.  Tomorrow we will host the first Flatbread Pizza Bowl at the Mozzarella Area.  Our Pizzaonian Cougars will face the Pizza digogo DiVinci Bakery Cadets for the first time.  It will be quite a challenge for our team, and will be a major test of our emerging football program.

 

The Pizza digogo Cadets bring a 14 and 0 record into tomorrow’s game, and if we can hold our own we will take a major step in bringing big time football to our sacred halls.

 

In our world, football is a major sport at the monastery.  We actively recruit players who feel they would like to combine spirituality with physical violence.  That may seem a strange combination in your world, but we actually learned it from you.  We provide full scholarships to our novitate athletes, and they agree to serve a minimum of six years as monks with our order.

 

Have to go now but I will be in touch after the game.  Your friend and fellow monk, Giovanni

A blessed Christmas and New Year from all the monks at the Pizzaonian Monastery!

As we move forward to the portalization of our two worlds we will continue to strive for a better understanding of the differences between us.  May the unity of pizza as a spiritual process be the link that brings us together.

View from Monastery window

Giovanni on new government health insurance plan

 Morning clouds passing over Pizzaonian Monastery

 

Dear John,

 

We have the day off today and it came just in time.  We now get news regularly through the portal on the happenings in your world.  I am trying to understand your new health care bill.

 

From what I read today, you make having health insurance mandatory. You allow people to pay for health expenses with their own money when they are not covered by the insurance plan. If people don’t buy health insurance you fine them, and if they don’t pay the fine you put them in jail --- and since jails provide health care, that takes care of the problem for them.

 

Well, if you think about it, that covers everybody and you now can claim universal health insurance is working.

 

I think I will stick to working with pizzas. Until next time, I remain your friend and brother monk, Giovanni

 

Letter from Giovanni -- Pizzaonian monks spiritualize the pizza experience

 Pizzaonian Bakery Academy

 

 Dear John,

 

Sorry I haven’t been able to get back to you for a while.  As you have read in our flurry of press releases we have been busy.  Since my appointment as headmaster my life here has radically changed – a change that I could not have predicted a few short months ago.  Since providence seems to have a hand in this, I am accepting this new responsibility with a somewhat stoic detachment.

 

Our Pizzaonian movement has removed us from the quite and peaceful non-world, a world I came here to seek, to a beta world where we are becoming a significant movement as a force for change.  I have to be careful as to how much I say.  As headmaster I am now privy to all that is happening here, and some of the new projects we are initiating are confidential.

 

As new Pizzaonian monks, I have witnessed a major transformation in our monastery.  There is sense of pride and mission here that permeates all that we do. Though we have always dedicated our lives to pizza as a spiritual experience, our spiritual dedication seems stronger than ever.  Now that my old friend Franco is our spiritual director, I am sure that this direction will continue.  What is new is our entry into a business venture with Pizza digogo that has become the dominant force in our new lives.

 

While, I can’t say too much this change is very exciting.  When we introduce our new Pizzaonian Miracle Mozzarella Pizza you will see what I mean. With this new product we may have, for the first time, combined complete physical and spiritual fulfillment in the same moral experience.  I may have said more than I should, but it’s hard not to get excited about this.  Time to go, will be back soon,

 

Until then, I remain your friend and brother monk, Giovanni

New academic standards for Pizzaonian Monks

 Bakery Academy

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

FROM:  MONASTERY PUBLIC RELATIONS OFFICE

Contact:  Publicio Relationio at the Monastery office of Public Relations at   http://GIOVANNIANDFRANCO.COM

 

SUBJECT:  New academic standards for Pizzaonian Monks.

 

Brother Franco, spiritual director for The Sacred Order of International Pizza Monks, announced today at an impromptu news conference, new standards of academic excellence for novitiates to their order.

 

Since their association with the pizza conglomerate, Pizza digogo DiVinci, applications for admission to the order have soared.  As Pizzaonians the order considers the pizza bakery experience a sacred trust, and is dedicated to maintaining the spiritual integrity of the bakery process.

 

To preserve this high standard, novitiates will now take a rigorous six year course in theology, followed by three more years as cadets at the Pizza digogo Bakery Academy.  The emphasis at the academy will concentrate on the spirituality of pizza as a religious experience, as well as the highest standards of the culinary art.

 

Ironically, Brother Franco, who originally opposed the monastery’s merger with the pizza conglomerate on the premise the merger, would violate the monastery’s credo to maintain the “separation of faith and pizza”, is now its most vocal proponent.

 

“I admit I was wrong, says Brother Franco candidly, Since  Pizza digogo presented its 10 point plan and eventual exit strategy at the Bakery Academy speech, I became a believer.  This merger was made in heaven as the appearance of the miraculous pizzas would suggest”.

 

Brother Franco also reported the construction of the new state of the art, pizza bakery facility in on schedule

The JFA team presents their concepts to Pizza digogo and The Pizzaonians

 

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

FROM:  MONASTERY PUBLIC RELATIONS OFFICE

Contact:  Monastery office of Public Relations at   http://GIOVANNIANDFRANCO.COM

 

SUBJECT:  (JFA) John Frank Associates meets with Pizza digogo and Pizzaonians for first concept meeting

 

Today, Publicio Relationio, Brother Giovanni, Sister Veronica, and Giorgio DiAugustino met with the concept team from John Frank Associates (JFA) to discuss and shape strategy for the spring ad campaign for the miracle pizza products.

 

The JFA team presented their ideas for branding the pizza line in the real world, and at the end of the meeting the agency issued the following statement:

 

We are humbled by the honor given to us by the Pizzaonian order and the Pizza conglomerate, Pizza digogo DiVinci.  To be selected as the first agency to promote these extraordinary miracle pizzas is a sacred privilege that we take seriously.

 

We are aware it was a miraculous event created through the baking skills of Sister Veronica that brought these pizzas into being. The clear and distinct image of Brother Timothy appearing at the center of each pie makes each pizza a spiritual happening.  Being part of such an event allows us to serve both worlds as we move closer to the portalization of our mutual commerce.

 

First, we will have to deal with the notion that their world is not real or fictitious.  As we have discovered, they are motivated and driven by reality rather than perception, and since in our world we are not, they often seem more real than we are. As a result, we agreed today that all future references to our respective spheres will be: the world (us) and beta world (them).  We would like to do away with the “us and them” distinction, but unfortunately, at this time, neither world has evolved to that point.

 

Since Pizza digogo DiVinci is a household name in the beta world, the JFA approach will be to integrate the conglomerate’s successful marketing style into our world.  As the new monastery baking facility nears completion, we will start our focus groups early into the New Year.  The beginning ads will feature the extraordinary Mozzarella Miracle Pizzas.  This will be a major event since this is the first product to be introduced from the beta world.

 

We all are looking forward to a fulfilling and successful relationship. 

 

Pizzaonian Monastery names agency to manage miralce pizza products

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

FROM:  MONASTERY PUBLIC RELATIONS OFFICE

Contact:  Monastery office of Public Relations at   http://GIOVANNIANDFRANCO.COM

 

SUBJECT:  MONASTERY AGENCY:  JOHN FRANK ASSOCIATES

 

In a joint statement The Sacred Order of International Pizza Monks and Pizza digogo DiVinci announced the appointment of John Frank Associates as the agency that will drive the advertising and public relations for the new miracle pizza line.

 

Public Relations director, Publicio Relationio, said, “This appointment is unprecedented.  It is the first time we have reached into the real world to collaborate with a business associate. However, these are new times that require bold and assertive action”.

 

The search for the right agency was extensive.  Apparently one of the issues that led to this appointment was the realization of how unreal the real world actually is.  New headmaster, Brother Giovanni said, “The more we investigated the issues the more we understood how the real world is driven by perception that creates reality, and in our world we are driven by reality that creates perception. We came to the conclusion that we are more real than they are”.

 

The other determining factor was the Pizza conglomerate’s desire  for a concept driven agency.  They apparently were disillusioned with the glitz and slickness of most of the competitive presentations.  “We were looking for substance and a understanding of our world.  Also, being in the forefront of portalization we needed “real” not slick or cute”, said Mr. Relationio.

Pizza digogo DiVinci to market monastery miracle pizzas in both worlds. New agency will "portalize" pizza line.

 

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

FROM:  MONASTERY PUBLIC RELATIONS OFFICE

Contact:  Monastery office of Public Relations at   http://GIOVANNIANDFRANCO.COM

 

SUBJECT:  PORTALIZATION OF COMMERCE

 

Publicio Relationio, public relations director for The Sacred Order of Pizza Monks, released a statement today outlining the marketing objectives of the miracle pizza product line.

 

“We intend to move forward and aggressively market our pizza product line in both worlds.  The “portalization”of commerce is inevitable and we want to be in the vanguard of this new movement.  We are currently completing our new facility here at the monastery, and will begin importing the skilled workers needed to meet our anticipated production.

 

While most production problems are solved: we are still dealing with the miraculous image of Brother Timothy appearing on the mozzarella pizzas.  We hope to have this resolved soon.

 

The process of coordinating our marketing and public relations efforts continues. We have narrowed our agency search to two agencies, and we will make our selection this afternoon.

Monastery renamed: “Sacred order of International Pizza Monks”

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

FROM:  MONASTERY PUBLIC RELATIONS OFFICE

Contact:  Monastery office of Public Relations at   http://GIOVANNIANDFRANCO.COM

 

SUBJECT:  Monastery renamed: “Sacred order of International Pizza Monks”;    Brother Giovanni appointed new headmaster; Publicio Relationio appointed new director of public relations.

 

In an impressive, formal ceremony this morning, the monastery had its name and affiliation changed to “The Sacred order of International Pizza Monks”. Each monk, while lying prostrate took the vows of obedience to the new order.  At the end of the vows ritual, each monk was presented with a stole beautifully decorated with images of mozzarella cheese, tomatoes and basil.  The monks will now be known as “Pizzaonians”.

 

Soon afterward in a special ceremony, Brother Giovanni took the vows of obedience and service to the new order and was appointed its first headmaster.  Franco was appointed the new spiritual director, consistent with Pizza digogo DiVinci’s promise to keep the spiritual direction of the monastery free from conglomerate interference.

 

At the end of the ceremony Brother Veronica’s name was officially changed to Sister Veronica, putting an end to the contentious “don’t ask, don’t tell policy.  She was honored for her inspired leadership that steered the monastery through its most difficult time.  Facing the dissolution of the order due to financial difficulties, her steady hand and discipline brought the monastery back from the brink to a new and bright future.  She will now be the Supervisor of Bakery Operation and be responsible for the new miracle pizza products.

 

At the end of the ceremony, Brother Giovanni and Giorgio DiAugustino, Pizza, digogo’s resident representative, announced the appointment of Publicio Relationio as the new head of public relations. Sometime tomorrow Mr. Relationio is expected to name the public relation agency selected to represent the new miracle pizza line.  All indications are that the agency will be from the “real world” to take advantage of the increased business opportunities that will come with the expected portalization of commerce.