FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
FROM: PIZZAONIAN NEWSERTAINMENT NETWORK (PNN)
Contact: Publicio Relationio at the PNN office of Public Relations at PIZZAONIAN@YAHOO.COM
SUBJECT: Brother Giovanni announces he will not be a candidate for the Presidency of the United States.
In a stunning announcement Brother Giovanni issued the following statement:
“Since so many unknowns are announcing they will not run for the Presidency of the Untied States it is only fitting, since I am the most unknown amongst the unknowns, that I make it clear to all that I am not now, or will I be in the future, a candidate for President of the United States.
It is my hope that this will end all speculation on the subject. I would also ask that all fund raising for my unknown candidacy end now, and any money collected sent to the unknown candidate of your choice.
I also release any voters pledged to my unknown candidacy, and they are free to support any current unknown candidate of their choice.
I know my decision will disappoint many Pizzaonians as well as members of my family and friends. Many of them felt running for President would be good for me, if not the country.
I will make no further comment on the subject.”