"At the heart of all success is not your belief in its inevitability -- at the heart of all success is your ability to overcome the fear that permeates and surrounds your belief." Pizzaonian proverb
Image courtesy of the Pizzaonian Art Institute, Abe Straction, curator (C)2012
"From this life to the next, your courage to simply be will prevail."
Words posted at the entrance of the chapel for novice Pizzaonians
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FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
FROM: PIZZAONIAN NEWS SERVICE (PNS)
Contact: Publicio Relationio at the PNS office of Public Relations at [email protected]
SUBJECT: Pizza to be considered as a controlled substance.
Today the American Pizza Alliance announced it will begin a campaign to have pizza declared a controlled substance and have it put under the control of the Worldonian (USA) Federal Drug Bureau of Narcotic Control (FDBNC).
This move was anticipated after it was discovered Pizzaonian Imperialism had taken complete control of Worldonian pizza production. Pizzaonian Mozzarella Pizzas are virtually irresistible, and since infiltrating the American pizza market under a variety of alias, Americans have become addicted to pizza consuming an average per capita 365 slices of pizza a year.
Ameri Patriati, head of the American Pizza Alliance was quoted as saying” that’s a hella of lot of pizza.” It seems that APA will now attempt to have Pizzaonia declared a terrorist nation since their “insidious takeover of the American pizza industry is a major factor in creating this nation's high rate of obesity.”
State department officials seem somewhat confused by this turn of events since there is no precedent for working with beta-world countries.
One issue on the table is to restrict portalization from Pizzaonia to Worldonia. Up to now the only criteria for qualifying for portalization to either world was the feeling that your life seemed like you were in a Woody Allen movie. Mr. Patriati said “this is obviously not enough since virtually everyone’s life feels like they are in a Woody Allen movie.”
It is paradoxical to find Pizzaonia, a country that exists without governments or wars, embroiled in such a heated and controversial confrontation.
More as it develops...........
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"Merging of Faith and Pizza" by Pizzaonian painting legend, Annavelo Paveli
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
FROM: PIZZAONIAN NEWSERTAINMENT NETWORK (PNN)
Contact: Publicio Relationio at the PNN office of Public Relations at [email protected]
SUBJECT: Supreme Pizzaonian exonerated. Pizzaonian health plan model for the future.
The Pizzaonian Council announced today in a brief statement Supreme Pizzaonian, Brother Giovanni, acted in the best interest of all Pizzaonians by rescinding "crap and trade" as an acceptable environmental policy and will now apply to all Pizzaonian diary herds.
“He also showed the respect all Pizzaonians have for woman as equal participants in our culture by the appointment of Captain Eleanori Ramallboati as the first submarine commander in the Pizzaonian navy” said one council member. The fact that Pizzaonia has no submarines or navy was not a factor in their decision.
The council praised Brother Giovanni for his inspired leadership on several issues. The most important of these was the negotiations with Pizza digogo DiVinci that lead to the merger of all Pizzaonian Monasteries with the pizza giant.
The most contentious issue was the adoption of the Pizzaonian health plan for all Pizzaonians. The health plan calls for all medical expenses up to 2000 Pizzaonian dollars to be treated by the regular medical staff. Once the 2000 dollar amount is exceeded, the patient is transferred to the faith healing clinic/s for further treatment.
After some argument on the merger of “faith and pizza” as a concept, all parties finally agreed on the acceptance of the plan. As a result of the merger and the new health plan, all Pizzaonian physicians now undergo three more years of training to earn the coveted “faith healer” (FH) designation.
Council members declared their faith-based health plan as a model for the United State as well. As we all know their health plans require the financial backing of their government and what requires more faith than that?
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Painting by Pizzaonian artist, Sealio Ranchi - Courtesy of the Pizzaonian Art Museum, Abe Straction, curator
First sign of wisdom: “When you start taking advice rather than giving it.”
Pizzaonian Book of Wisdom
Skylight, private chapel Supreme Pizzaonian circa 1851 BW
Dear John,
By now you have heard the news about the changes here at the monastery. As Supreme Pizzaonian I am supposed to communicate through official sources, however, I find that a bit stifling. I am sorry it has taken me so long to write, but as you can imagine, my time is filled with the details of assuming my new position.
It is ironic that I came here to escape reality only to find reality waiting here in the beta-world for me to find it. The exciting aspect about this is I can now attempt to help create a world that I always thought should be. It may never reach or affect your world, but at least here it can make a difference.
Of course living with the concept of Pizza as the creation symbol may seem strange to you, but here where everyone loves and eats pizza with gusto and joy it makes sense. We all identify with the concept and it makes a wonderful totem for us to believe in and cherish. I remain confident that we can revolutionize the image of Pizza as a creative symbol.
Now I have to deal with the factions that always seem more intent on separating us. Since my decree that Pizzaonians will accept all faiths rather than believe in a single tradition, the detractors are multiplying exponentially. You should have seen some of the faces at our council meeting when I said I would rather have one true Creator that accepts all faiths, rather than one true faith that is accepted by our Creator. They are still trying to wrap their minds around that one.
It might interest you to know that this idea was inspired by our advertising agency, John Frank Associates. In our recent meeting they presented ideas on how we can represent our miracle pizza products as a symbol of solidarity. That is when the idea came to me to open the doors to all faiths and traditions.
My next step is going to seem stranger than the last. As Pizzaonians we need to find some issue that our people can see and understand as being in their interest and well being. Unlike your world, where you have to hit the home run or score the touchdown in one play, we look for simplicity in our approach. See, while we are not of your world, we do learn from your mistakes.
With the great success of our Pizzaonian Football League our fan interest and devotion to the game and to our teams are legendary. Unfortunately, as in your world, free agency and owner arrogance has left the fan with little more than watching. Unfortunately, our fans now have no say as to what happens to their beloved sport. That is about to change here.
Tomorrow I am going to officially announce free agency for fans. It will revolutionize the game as we know it. You will know more tomorrow when our news office will issue a complete press release on the idea. Until then, I remain your friend and brother monk, Supreme Pizzaonian Giovanni.
"Swirling waters'" by famed Pizzaonain painter, Raberti Swirli
BITS AND PIECES FROM OUR PIZZAONIAN PAST 2/09/2010
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
FROM: PIZZAONIAN NEWSERTAINMENT NETWORK
Contact: Publicio Relationio at the PNN office of Public Relations at [email protected]
SUBJECT: CRAP AND TRADE FLATULENCE POLICY DERAILED BY SUPREME PIZZAONIAN
The Pizzaonian News Service announced today that Supreme Pizzaonian, Brother Giovanni derailed what was called “ a misguided adventure” by pizza conglomerate, Pizza digogo DiVinci to establish a “crap and trade” formula that, if approved, would have been applied to the various dairy herds supplying the mozzarella cheese for the famous Pizzaonian Mozzarella Miracle Pizza Pies.
If the new “C&T” rules had been allowed to continue, smaller suppliers would have been able to sell their cattle flatulence emissions allowances to Pizza digogo. This would have permitted the pizza conglomerate to bypass the stringent restrictions imposed by ICPM on cattle flatulence discharges for its dairy herds.
Specifically, the crap and trade rules would have reduced for larger and well-off pizza makers such as Pizza digogo, the amount of permissible emissions of nitrogen and ammonia coming from droppings left in the pastures by their diary cattle.
Brother Giovanni said, “this would have violated the intent of the International Conference of Pizza Monks' ruling to qualify Pizza digogo for the coveted 'es' designation and could not be allowed to stand. I am sure that our partners and brothers in pizza production meant no harm, however my position as Supreme Pizzaonian to all Pizzaonians left me no other option."
This decision by the Supreme Pizzaonian comes with possible political repercussions since the Pizzaonian monasteries receive much of their funding from the pizza conglomerate.
More as if develops
In Pizzaonia intersecting triangles and light with open space symbolizes the presence of the Creator.
August 2014
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
FROM: PIZZAONIAN NEWS SERVICE (PNS)
Contact: Publicio Relationio at the PNS office of Public Relations at [email protected]
SUBJECT: "Why the Golden Rule no longer works.” Supreme Pizzaonian
Today in a one on one interview the Supreme Pizzaonian, Brother Giovanni, explained why the “Golden Rule” no longer works and how Pizzaonians evolved to a more advanced culture by realizing this simple observation.
Brother Giovanni elaborated, "Do unto others as you would have then do unto you is a concept that requires similarities in culture to be effective. As we know, it was rendered in a time when most world views were tribal and provincial. The Golden Rule requires a universal sense of community that obviously no longer exists.
As the world expanded and grew bigger with each new discovery, it became virtually impossible for people to keep up and to see beyond their tribal perspectives. Everyone’s moral compass went awry. How else do you explain how a group of people could be so loving with each other and than go down the road and slaughter every man, woman and child in a competing village? And, I am not sure on a grander scale this same question does not apply today.
When I portalized to the beta-world it became clear that Pizzaonians had evolved to an effective and more advanced interpretation of the Golden Rule. Since they are an ecumenical culture and accept all beliefs, and yes including non belief, it became clear to avoid escalating conflicts they had to develop a way of respecting each other with a universal concept of charity and mutual respect.
Since they were, and still are, a mercantile culture revolving around the making and selling of pizza, their elders came up with the inspired concept of ‘customer’ as a sacred trust. Since then the Golden Rule for all of Pizzaonia is ‘do unto your customer as you would have your customer do unto you.’
The concept was accepted immediately by all. The concept of customer transcended religious, ethnic and regional differences. As the concept evolved, they went further and extended the definition of “customer’ to include everyone, not just people you dealt with in business. So your customer became your friend, your family members, literally everyone. As a result, today we find ourselves with a culture that has all the problems you have - but, unlike you, the moral mechanism to deal with and resolve all conflicts.”
Our next press release will deal with how Pizzaonians developed a culture that requires neither governments nor war to resolve issues.
Giovanniandfranco.com is a division of the Pizzaonian Newsertainment Network, Diverti Mento, editor
IMMEDIATE RELEASE FROM: PIZZAONIAN NEWSERTAINMENT NETWORK, (PNN)
SUBJECT: Pizzaonian pizza conglomerate, Pizza digogo DiVinci joins with John Frank Associates in new advertising venture.
In a stunning announcement, Pizzaonian pizza conglomerate, Pizza digogo DiVinci, will enter the marketing and advertising world by joining with John Frank Associates, a small and relatively unknown marketing firm.
This is the first departure for Pizza digogo DiVinci from the mozzarella pizza world they now dominate in Pizzaonia. Since their alliance with Pizzaonian Monasteries, the conglomerate’s miracle, mozzarella pizza, has not only become the national food, but the national symbol of the Pizzaonian world as well. It also marks their first business venture away from the beta-world of Pizzaonia
Brother Giorgio Di Augustino, who now heads Bakery operations for Pizza digogo at the monastery, will also spearhead the advertising and marketing administration for the conglomerate.
When asked about the oddity of this move and the alliance with an unknown company Brother Di Augustino said, "This venture is not strange to those who know our history. John Frank Associates is an idea company and we are an idea that they created. What better basis could you find for a relationship than that?”
If the success of the conglomerate in the beta-world of Pizzaonia is any indication of the future, their relationship with John Frank Associates will be interesting to watch.
Contact: Publicio Relationio at the PNN office of Public Relations at [email protected]
Monastery gardens adjacent to diary pastures
Released as a public service to all Pizza lovers everywhere
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
FROM: MONASTERY PUBLIC RELATIONS OFFICE
Contact: Publicio Relationio. PR Director, Pizzaonian News Network, [email protected]
Pizzaonians to market Pizzaonian Miracle Margarita Pizza as the purest, organic pizza produced.
Former Pizzaonian Bakery Chief, Sister Veronica,(now Supreme Pizzaonian) who rose to fame with her discovering of the Brother Timothy miracle pizza apparitions, claimed today the mozzarella cheese now being produced from the monastery dairy herds is the richest and creamiest mozzarella ever made.
She attributes this to the reduced cattle flatulence produced by the herds when the monastery decided to apply for the coveted “es” designation administered by the ICPM. In order to be awarded this rare designation, the monastery had to cut in half all ammonia and nitrogen emissions released by their cows. After a long and persistent effort, this was successfully accomplished at the end of last year.
“There is no doubt about it, our cheese is the creamiest mozzarella ever made. Our new Pizzaonian Margarita Pizza is the purest organic pizza produced in the beta-world,” said Sister Veronica.
She also added a very pleasant side benefit is the reduced aroma now coming from the monastery cattle pastures.
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
FROM: PIZZAONIAN NEWS SERVICE (PNS)
Contact: Publicio Relationio at the PNS office of Public Relations at [email protected]
SUBJECT: John Frank Associates introduces pizza conglomerate, Pizza digogo DiVinci’s head of bakery operations.
To answer many of the public’s questions regarding the introduction of Pizza digogo DiVinci’s Miracle Mozzarella Pizza products to Worldonia, we are making available some background information on Brother Giorgio Di Augustino, head of bakery operations for the pizza conglomerate in Pizzaonia.
Brother Giorgio has agreed to have a press conference in the near future to answer more questions regarding the extraordinary decision of Pizza digogo DiVinci to enter the Worldonian market place.
For more information go to: http://giovanniandfranco.typepad.com/giovanniandfrancocom/2009/10/new-monastery-pizza-chief-named.html