Storm clouds over Worldonia
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
FROM: PIZZAONIAN NEWS SERVICE (PNS)
Contact: Publicio Relationio at the
SUBJECT: PORTALIZATION OF WORLDONIAN IMMIGRANTS TO PIZZAONIA
In a surprise announcement the Pizzaonian Office of Portalization said they were removing all restrictions to portalizing to Pizzaonia.
Youri Welcomi. Pizzaonian minister of Portalization, said the recent events in Worldonia prompted the decision to open the portal between the two worlds.
Recent dysfunctional events in Worldonia, such as having all major sports playing at the same time, has created increased stress in the average Worldonian’s lifestyle. Add that to the 100 or more repetitive and dull broadcast television channels available to the average Worldonian household and you have the formula for complete emotional exhaustion.
Mr. Welcomi said the general consensus was this emotional stress explains the recent bizarre behavior of Worldonian politicians and the leaders of Worldonian financial markets. “The overwhelming majority of Pizzaonians want us to reach out and offer help to our suffering cousins.”
The Pizzaonian Council for Greater Empathy met in an emergency meeting and concluded they had to reach out to their Worldonian cousins and offer them the bliss of a Pizzaonian life.
The one criterion for Worldonian portalization is the pervasive feeling that your life feels like you are in a Woody Allen movie. The moment you are aware of this feeling you can expect an invitation to come to Pizzaonia.
All others also may apply for portalization. They will be received with well-known Pizzaonian hospitality.