How does one become a Pizzaonian?
This is a question our scholars have considered for generations. Pizzaonius, our founder, said simply, “One becomes a Pizzaonian by desire.” Unfortunately, this is too simple for most of us so for years many minds have pondered over more complicated and convoluted explanations.
In this way, we are much like your country where fortunes are made by complicating the obvious and then providing answers that are neither obvious nor understood. Most of your great citadels of learning excel at this technique.
In the beginning, portalizing to Pizzaonia was relatively easy. Pizzaonius is a lover of great Pizza and good movies. He is especially fond of Woody Allen movies. So he came up with this idea – anyone who loved Pizza and felt like his or her life was like being in a Woody Allen movie – was eligible for portalization to Pizzaonia.
The rest was easy. Hanging out in the better Pizza establishments, he sought out people who met the above criteria. And, that is how I became a Pizzaonian. I must confess I entered the Portotran with much trepidation, but Pizzaonius is very convincing and with his charismatic personality, you make an act of faith and proceed.
The Portotran experience is actually very pleasant. It goes very quickly, and it seems like you are an actual participant in a Salvador Dali painting. I found the trip to be very exciting and quite safe.
I should add that I was ready for a major change in my life and the idea of making a new life in an alternative universe was very appealing. I was also very curious how a country could exist without government or wars.
As time passed, however, life here became more complicated - but still remains very pleasant. Next time we can spend some time on how Pizzaonia has evolved and what the people here are like.
Until then…
Brother Giovanni
Interested in the early history of Giovanni and Franco and Pizzaonia? http://giovanniandfranco.com - archives
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