View from Chapel Window, Pizzaonian Monasteries, Pizzaonia - image courtesy of the Pizzaonian Art Institute, Abe Straction, curator
Disclaimer: The Pizzaonian Council of Monks (PCM) and pizza conglomerate, Pizza digogo DiVinci are concerned when a prominent and respected figure in Pizzaonian politics like Brother Giovanni engages in an activity many Pizzaonians consider weird at best and psychotic at worst.
However, in the interests of full disclosure, we support The Pizzaonian’s decision to publish these letters and conversations between Brother Giovanni and the man he calls “Jesus.” Sister Veronica, Supreme Pizzaonian
Dear Giovanni,
Thanks for your recent letter; sorry I have not been able to get back to you sooner. As you know, I try to spend several weeks a year traveling like an ordinary person. Unfortunately, I have had many interruptions this year, which has conflicted with my travel. Sounds like I am complaining.
I need to get an opinion from you. I run across a lot of Christians, who proclaim me, somewhat quietly I might add, but none the less, do claim me as their Savior. Of course, they do not know who I am when they talk to me, and that works for me.
Let me tell you what’s bothering me. Though they wear the Christian mantle well, they do not seem to go beyond that. I see some concern for the poor, and they all give some money to feed the hungry. However, the whole thing seems pretty abstract to me. I not sure their fervor ever goes any deeper than that. It could be the Churches let people off the hook. I know they preach the gospel, but does it stick?
I am not sure they ask very much of the faithful in my name. I know they say all the right things in generalizations, but how much of it becomes meaningful to the so-called faithful. You might bring this up to Brother Franco. I would love to hear what he has to say about all of this. As you said before, Brother Franco is the most faithful anti Catholic you have ever met.
I am heading for Syria and Egypt for a few weeks. Seriously, I am very concerned with what is happening there. I am not sure most people understand the suffering that is happening on a daily basis
If I am lucky, on my way back, I will have some time to spend in my home town. Have things changed there in the last 2000 years. Do you know I can get a McDonald’s hamburger just a few miles from where I was born – amazing!
Can you imagine if anyone else saw this letter, they would be convinced that I am a nut case with severe delusions? It is hard for anyone to take me seriously as an ordinary human being. I will be surprised if Sister Veronica lets you publish it.
I have to tell you this before I go. Here is a perfect example of what I am talking about. I am in a café the other day talking to this man, and I give him a hint who I really am. So he asks me the usual question. “If you are who you say you are, show me a miracle.” I get up and leave without saying a word. Just as I get to the door, I look back and this same guy is about to drink his cup of coffee.
I could not resist it. I let the whole cup spill into his lap. Then, just as he realized what happened, I let the coffee rise up and go back into his cup as if nothing happened. He looked bewildered and then he caught my eye just as I was about to go out the door. I looked back and winked at him and left.
Probably should keep this little story to yourself. Not everyone, including folks I am very close to, would understand. But we all need a little comic relief once and while.
Write soon and let me know what Brother Franco has to say.
Till next time.
Your friend,
Jesus
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