How many famous listeners can you name? I will wait a minute for your answer.

“Pizzaonia Emerging” Courtesy of the Pizzaonian Art Institute, Abe Straction, curator

“Nature has given to humans one tongue, but two ears, that we may hear from others twice as much as we speak.” Epictetus

If the following quote has a hint of wisdom in its words, forget it – we ignored its intent years ago.

Books are filled with the wonder of listening and explanations of how people who have matured and are comfortable with themselves become the best listeners.

It is not an accident you never hear about these people. Perhaps they are so busy listening they never get around to doing anything. Our point is simply this: the world we have created for ourselves does not put a value on listening. Only ordinary people listen. The few exceptions truly prove the rule, everyone else is talking. Don’t believe it? How many famous listeners can you name? I will wait a minute – google “famous listeners” and see what you come up with.

It is no accident that the few names you come up with are (were) also famous talkers. How well known do you think they would have been if their only talent was listening?

Listening is truly a great virtue requiring humility. You either need humility or the intelligence to know that you have to be at least good at faking listening to have people sit still long enough to listen to you. I suspect most of us are the latter rather than the former.

The irony of all this is that talkers need listeners. You would think this would create some type of balance here, but the emphasis is always on the talker.

We again need to make some distinction between a true listener and a person who listens long enough to be able to start talking again with some relevance to the conversation. This type of superficial listening is the mark of all great talkers.

Which are you – a great talker or a great listener? If your answer is “great listener” there is a good chance no one has ever heard of you.