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The Pizzaonian National Flag - Courtesy of the Pizzaonian Art Institute, Abe Straction, curator
August 2014
Breaking News ..................
The Pizzaonian Institute for Political Research has released its long-awaited report on the events and causes of the current American recession.
In retrospect, it is amazing how close the American economy was to complete disintegration. When the world’s greatest economy is brought to near collapse, it becomes critically important to understand the reasons for such a calamitous event.
The full study, which is 1,126,275 pages long, will be released in its entirety later this year. However, in this first report, the researchers believed two main reasons primarily responsible for causing this disastrous financial happening.
This first report will focus on these two reasons:
First, clearly the American labor movement overpowered the power of the politicians. The federal and state governments were no match for the cunning of the labor leaders. In addition, their cunning went beyond overpowering government leaders. They also outmaneuvered the corporations and the powerful political lobbies that supported the once dominant business and banking communities.
As a result, American corporate and banking interest were overwhelmed and surrendered to American labor. Only now are they beginning to recover from this disaster.
Second, the political organizations that represent the poor and disenfranchised in the United States managed to overpower the banks. Banks were literally forced to make millions of no down payment, low-interest loans to poor and disenfranchised Americans.
The banks seemed helpless against the political power of the unemployed and the disenfranchised as they totally surrendered to their demands.
Finally, because of these loans, the financial resources of the banks were exhausted and the banking system came close to complete collapse. Only now are the banks beginning to recover from this financial onslaught against their integrity.
The report is careful to detail these two events as the main causes of the current financial malaise in the United States. These events should be a warning to all western democracies as to what can happen when political power is not shared equally. We hope that the American corporate and banking communities will learn from these events and begin again to rebuild their power base.
Abe Surdity, reporting for the “The Pizzaonian” - a division of the Pizzaonian Newsertainment Network.
* It is our policy always to reveal our sources. It is our understanding that 90 percent of the information for this report was obtained by listening to a variety of right-wing talk radio shows in the United States.
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