Making best friends with your demons - if you dare

It is interesting that most of us have best friends. Unfortunately, it is usually someone other than us. Who better to be there for you than you?

I was once told by a friend that she enjoyed spending time alone with herself. She added, “Why not spend time with me, since I am one of the most interesting people I know.”

While this may sound egotistical to some, there is a sense of maturity in her remark. There is a genuine connection between loving yourself and loving others. I wonder how often we consider this relationship with ourselves. How do we do unto others as you would have them do unto you - unless you first do-good things to and for yourself?

In the process of becoming our own best friend, we have to resolve our demons. Everyone has a personal demon/s. What is yours? If you cannot answer this immediately, you need to spend more time making friends with yourself. Our demons come in many forms, but they are always about something we fear the most.

Unfortunately, many of our most personal demons have burrowed deep onto our unconsciousness where they continue to do their damage while remaining well-hidden. The irony of course is that they can only remain there and continue to be destructive because we allow them to be.

Demons are very smart. They are expert at managing destructive behavior. They learned long ago that we all have comfort zones where we feel secure – even though they cause damaging behavior. The paradox in all of this is that by feeling "safe and secure" we are not exploring and using the talent we have been given to fulfill our lives. Demons are very good at making sure we never live up to our full potential.

So what do we do about it? First get over being afraid of your demons. Since they will be with you the rest of your life, you might as well make friends with them. This is a problem. How many of us want to make friends with that we fear the most. However, I would suggest that familiarity does not always breed contempt. More often it breeds understanding, if not acceptance.

The presumption I am making is you would like to free yourself of the hold your demons have on you. If not, you should probably leave us now, since you are not going to do any of this anyway.