So you think you have a good relationship.....

On relationships

No subject gets more attention. Successful relationships are the key to a so-called successful life. However, are what we call relationships really relationships, or are they merely accommodations and little else?

Making this distinction is important since a good relationship can often be accommodating; however, not all accommodations are necessarily good relationships.

Accommodations exist when a mutual need between parties is being satisfied. It can be very specific and independent of any other need or contact with an individual or organization.

How do you determine the difference?

Begin by thinking about what is being satisfied by your relationship. If it is a true relationship, you will not have to think very long. True relationships are all encompassing and you intrinsically know it.

We know when we are happy and all is well. The same with our physical body - when the body is working well you are not aware of it. It does what it must with ease and in silence. The same is true of relationships.

The problem is what happens when the relationship is not working. Then, it not only needs attention; it demands attention because the dysfunction becomes part of your consciousness.

Only the honest survive here. This does not mean the relationship will not survive if you are not honest, because for most it will. However, it will cease to be a relationship in the full sense of the word and continue to be a tolerable accommodation.

For a person to be willing to risk it all in order to make it better is rare, regardless of the situation. For most, learning to adjust and accept the status quo is as good as it is going to get. However, for the one in a million who is willing to risk it all in order to communicate honestly - the reward is theirs to treasure.

It is too bad it is only one in a million.