THE PIZZAONIAN

It happened very slowly - actually, no one really noticed - and then it became reality!

It happened very slowly - actually, no one really noticed. A few of the more esoteric journals commented on the possibility of it happening, but few took the notion seriously. 

However, it should be noted that a few religious leaders began to take it seriously and among several of the various denominations, real concern began to dominate their thinking, but they were much too late. They had neither the resources, the public relations savvy nor the entertainment value to have any lasting effect. They knew they had lost. And then, before anyone hardly noticed, the National Football League replaced Christianity as the dominant religion in the United States.

 

Now some will say how can football be considered a religion? Doesn’t a religious faith require believing in a deity? We should not that one of the definitions of a deity is “one who is exalted or revered as supremely good or powerful.”

 

The commissioner of the National Football League fits this definition perfectly. He is given his power by the College of Cardinals, excuse me; I meant the team owners, who vote secretly and anoint who they chose to lead them. And clearly, it is understood that the Commissioner of the NFL has unquestioned authority over his religion, excuse me, I should say, professional football. 

 

However, all of this would be mute without believers or followers who number in the millions. A serious religion requires staunch devotion to its beliefs and ideals and where will you find more faithful followers than in the various denominations (teams) of the NFL. 

 

If there are still some doubters than consider Super Bowl Sunday. Is there any religious celebration in the United States that can even come close in comparison? We all know the answer. Super Bowl Sunday has become our most important holiday and by definition religious celebration. It is estimated that 120 million people will partake. We come together by the millions to watch the crowning of a new champion. We celebrate with friends and families. Festivities abound everywhere.

 

Nothing brings people together more than a communal, national celebration with shared beliefs and values. No wonder Christianity lost. All it could promise was salvation.  

Brother Giovanni

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Check your bank account. It's time to go watch big league baseball! #sports #life

Abstract image of a father of four trying to figure out how to pay for his family's once a year trip to the Ball Park. Courtesy of the Pizzaonian Art Institute, Abe Straction, curator ©2009

 

What is it about baseball that makes grown men and women start babbling like 10-year-olds? About this time of the year when spring training begins every middle-aged pundit regardless of age, gender or expertise suddenly starts waxing sentimental nostalgia about baseball.

Please spare me all the stories of how it was when you were young, and how much you enjoyed going to the baseball games with family and friends.  I would much rather talk about the game as it is today rather than what you prefer to believe it is or was as the case may be.

As an interested observer from Pizzaonia, I cannot be anything but fascinated by this phenomenon.  I too grew up around baseball, but that was a very different time. And, when I was going to baseball games, it cost a dollar to get into the stadium, and another dollar would buy you the goodies you love to munch on while watching the game.    

Of course back then baseball, while still a business, saw itself as a game. Now baseball is a big business that is about a game.  This is not a little change - this is a significant difference in how the game is played and how it is currently seen by most of the observers watching the incredible spectacle of big-league sports in America.

Today we hear more about contracts then we hear about double plays. Yes, I know that statistics are still a major part of the discussion about baseball.  However, when does a day go by starting with spring training and continuing for the rest of the season when you don’t hear about how much money everyone is making?  

Let us not forget about the marvel of television that has taken the game out of the stadium and into everyone’s living room.  Actually, this is a blessing for baseball since it now cost so much to go to a game the only way most people can watch anymore is to see it on television. Revenue from television ratings pays most of the freight these days.

Yes, there are a few sprinkled seats around the park that seem affordable. But don’t let that fool you, by the time you add up the cost of the seats, plus the goodies, and what it cost to park plus transportation to the Ball Park, you’re talking about a big chunk of change.  

Who then goes to the games and pays the outrageous prices?  For the most part, the very rich - this includes corporations with their luxury boxes, and anyone with a big enough bank account to impress their constituents. The closest these folks get to the common people is when they use their binoculars to see what’s happening in the bleachers.  

As for us in Pizzaonia, we can’t wait for the season to start.  We warm up our HD televisions, open up our six packs purchased at the super market - sit back and enjoy.  Play Ball!

P.S: We love commercials.  It gives us a chance to stretch our legs, go to the kitchen for more goodies, take a restroom break and when finished with all that - talk to our friends until the game starts again.

Brother Franco

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View from the window of the the monastery chapel

 

Even with all the turmoil surrounding the postponing of the State of the Monastery address, a new unrelated issue has created a new controversy.

Since the monastery’s rise as a football power in the Pizzaonian Football League (PFL), a new and powerful fan union is pushing for a “free agency” agreement for fans. Sister Veronica has turned the issue over to Brother Franco for resolution.

Part of the controversy arises over the monastery’s newly acquired football players who were allowed to portalize into the beta-world as part of the surge advocated by Pizza digogo DiVinci to increase the number of pizza workers to stabilize and secure the miracle pizza production.  Pizza digogo claims it was impossible to find enough qualified workers in the beta-world and it became necessary to seek workers from other sources.

It is now clear some of the workers were allowed to portalize because of their football experience.  Because of this many fans feel the benefits given to players to join the team; they (the fans) have become second class citizens. “Free agency” for the fan has become the new battle cry from this dedicated fan group.  Just what this fan free agency entails is still not clear.

More as it develops.

Abe Surdity for "The Pizzaonian" - a division of the Pizzaonian Newsertainment Network

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(C) 2012
Pizzaonian National Flag, courtesy of the Pizzaonian Art Institute, Abe Straction, curator

 

Nothing epitomizes the “winner takes all” spirit of the United States like professional sports.  As the baseball season ends the heroes line up to take their bows - and the goats brace for the long winter of second-guessing on what might have been.

Ironically, the heroes at the end were often the goats during the long season.  Fans and the 24/7 sports news cycle makes all who play or work in professional baseball fair game for the fans. 

As all those who play the game know, you are only as good as your last game, no matter what you have done before.

They say this type of up and down praise and scorn heaped on the players and managers is good for the psyche and brings a sense of community to a city.  The ability to have a serious love/hate relationship with your team unties those who love and hate in the spirit of togetherness. 

Maybe so, but it would be nice, just once, to hear players talk about this honestly.

That is not likely to happen since this type of honesty would bring the ire of the fans down on anyone who attempts it.  Each player knows the name of the game is winning, and even though you may have the fans' affection for the moment, one bad play or decision at a crucial time can change everything.

So for the moment, the champions are singing cum bi ya arm and arm with their fans, and this will last at least until the first game next year.  Then the fans will realign the order of goats and heroes according to how well their local heroes performed – and the cycle begins again.

Maybe the reason baseball players are paid so much is more about putting up with the love/hate relationship with the fans than it is about playing baseball.  I would think many players and managers would agree with this particularly when they are goats instead of heroes.  Play ball!

Brother Giovanni, commenting for "The Pizzoanian" - Diverti Mento, editor, a division of the Pizzaonian Newsertainment Network

Now available an all new integrated "The Pizzaonian." #news #magazine

                     (C)2012

Pizzaonian National Flag, courtesy of the Pizzanian Art Institue, Abe Straction, curator

 

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

FROM:  PIZZAONIAN NEWSERTAINMENT NETWORK SERVICE (PNN)

Contact:  Publicio Relationio at the PNN office of Public Relations at   [email protected] 

SUBJECT:  “The Pizzaonian” to consolidate all Pizzaonian publications

 

In a surprise move Diverti Mento, managing editor of “The Pizzaonian,” announced today that all Pizzaonian publications would now be featured in Pizzaonia’s News Magazine.  

While not made public, it was well known behind the scenes that Mr. Mento felt the many news sources coming out of Pizzaonia were diluting the effect of Pizzaonia’s main news magazine. 

“I am aware of the individual popularity of GiovanniandFranco.com and our other independent columns like “Conversations with Jesus” and “Musings.” However, the competitive news world we live in no longer affords us the luxury of diluting our product. 

I need to assure everyone that all of your favorite columnist such as Brother Giovanni, Brother Franco, Sister Veronica, Abe Surdity and me will continue to appear, however, only in “The Pizzaonian,” Mr. Mento said. 

Pizzaonians in general are expected to receive the news gracefully.  The transition should go well as long as Pizzaonia's favorite writers are still available regularly.  

The charge made by pizza conglomerate, Pizza digogo DiVinci, that this consolidation would lead to censorship and control of the media has been discounted and not considered viable when you consider the nature of Pizzaonian democracy.  It  is now clear to all that Mr. Mento has full control of all Pizzaonian publications.

 

More as it becomes available …..

Pizzaonian Newsertainment Network

http://giovanniandfranco.com